Life when the wheels stop rolling

  Living with a loved one in chronic pain, isn't easy. If you have a partner that has health issues putting them in chronic pain, and you aren't in love with them, RUN. They need to find someone that loves them. If you do love them, then that's what matters. guess what marine? you enlisted for the duration of the war! hopefully, whatever the cause of their pain, it can be treated or cured, My soulmate has Rheumatoid Arthritis. along with several other conditions, including PTSD. when we met, I had no idea what I was getting into. know what? doesn't matter. I love her!.  if your  loved one is in chronic pain, and it's new to you, let me share some things that will help. The first thing to remember is, it isn't their fault. they have good days, and bad days. and no control over which is which. you WILL have to be patient. on the bad days, they might get grumpy, even snap at you. remember they still love you, and it's the pain affecting them.  be prepared with back up plans to pick up, or fix dinner on those bad days. keep a few snacks, little gifts and treats hidden, to help cheer them up.  if you see they are hurting, don't ask "what's wrong?". the answer will be "I'M HURTING".  as in, duh, dumbass. you knew that. you SHOULD have asked "where is it hurting", or "is there anything I can do?". Usually, if they are exceptionally grumpy, they will realise it and apologize the next day. do NOT hold it over, or against them. you wouldn't blame someone for cancer, don't do it for less visible diseases.  be prepared for less intimacy. come on man, if it hurts her to HUG, do you think hard sex is going to happen? doesn't mean she wants you any less. and she'll probably be depressed about the situation too. remember, the fact you love each other, is the important thing.
some more tricks:
heating pads help. so do foot rubs. enough pillows to cushion joints, or help them get into a comfortable position.  whatever your thoughts on cannabis, it DEFINITELY helps with chronic pain, and doesn't have the addiction issues that prescription painkillers do. nor does it do the damage to organs, that the opioid meds do. look into cannabis oil, and edibles. there are ways to use it, without the "high"./ though that helps with the PTSD issues, too,
Learn all you can about nutrition, and supplements. turmeric is an anti-inflammatory. so are several other herbs and supplements. baths with epsom salts help, My wife jokes with me, when I suggest a hot shower, as "what is a magic shower gonna do?", but still they seem to help. who knows. maybe it's just the physical sensation of the shower, distracting from the pain. who cares, as long as it helps.